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Why aren't men, as a colleague pointed out, eating their own fecal matter or sucking on used tampons? If fathers really are passing the secret knowledge of turning yourself into a gurgling water fountain down to their sons, is there any point to it other than being gross and asserting some kind of feral masculinity? It was late, we were all fired up on hormones, and the lake was strictly forbidden, so of course I was the first one to strip off my clothes and dive in.

For extra wow-factor put some berries, sliced fruit or edible glitter into an ice cube tray and freeze.

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